Jewels of the Night
by kjessalyn
Summary: Sebastian gets an early morning phone call and Blaine needs someone to talk to.


**AN: I don't even know where this came from. It may be triggering to some people, so please take heed of the warnings.**

**Warnings: Mentions of depression, depressing thoughts, suicidal thoughts, swearing**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy.**

It is not in the stars to hold our destinies but in ourselves.

~William Shakespeare

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Sebastian groaned. What in God's name was making that shrill, annoying beeping noise?

"Oh my God, turn that fucking thing off!" came the muffled voice of his room mate.

What? Oh, it was his phone. Sebastian reached out on to his night stand and searched around for the beeping device. Who the hell was phoning him at 1 o'clock in the morning? Sebastian squinted at the screen, wincing at the bright light. _Blaine Anderson._

"If you don't silence that thing in the next five seconds, I am going to come over there and shove it down your throat!"

Sebastian glared at his dorm mate, but slipped out of bed and locked himself in the bathroom for some privacy.

"Hey Anderson. Did you finally break up with that prissy little boyfriend of yours?"

"What are we doing with our lives?"

Well that was not the response he had expected. "Don't you think it's a little early for intense philosophical discussion?"

There was a small pause. "You're right. I'm sorry for bothering you. I'll let you get back to sleep now."

Blaine sounded so small and broken, and Sebastian felt a twinge of guilt. "Blaine, wait. You wouldn't have called if it wasn't important. What did you want to talk about?"

"I don't even know. I guess maybe I just wanted to know that there was someone I could talk to."

A long silence stretched between them, neither of them knowing what to say.

"Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are you?"

"The old train bridge on the west side of Lima."

"I'm coming to get you. Don't do anything stupid."

"Sebastian."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Sebastian didn't say anything. He just pulled on some clothes and grabbed his car keys.

Blaine was sitting on the wooden bridge, his legs dangling over the side. The cold night seeped through his clothes and left a chill in his core. His phone sat on the wooden planks beside him.

Blaine wasn't sure why he had called Sebastian. The two hadn't been close to begin with, and Sebastian had made things worse by throwing rock salt slushies. But he had, and now, half an hour after Blaine had called, he could hear the sound of crunching gravel as a car slowly approached from one on the access roads. The car halted, but Blaine didn't look up as the car door slammed, and footsteps approached.

"Well, Anderson, you sure know how to pick a romantic location. How do you even have cell phone reception out here?"

Blaine remained silent. Sebastian sat down beside him.

"You thinking of jumping?"

"Not really. The bridge isn't high enough to do any damage, and the river isn't ideal conditions for drowning. But it's kinda comforting to know that I could jump if I wanted to. Though, if I were really serious about killing myself, it would be easier to just walk in front of a train."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Not that you've thought about it or anything."

Blaine smirked. He leaned back and rested his head on the tracks, staring at the stars.

"Isn't it strange? There is so much out there. We're so small, meaningless. And yet, here we are," Blaine commented.

Sebastian stared at him. He was laying across the tracks, the perfect position to be decapitated should a train come along. The gel in hair had started to come loose, and a few curls swept across his forehead. His expression was carefully neutral, but his eyes were filled with a emptiness that Sebastian wasn't sure could be filled.

"Why me? Why did you call me?" Sebastian asked suddenly.

"I don't know."

"You couldn't think of anyone better to call? Someone who actually cares about your well being?"

"My parents would just say that I'm being dramatic. Cooper is far too busy, and doesn't really care about anything other than himself. You turned all the Warblers against me. I'm not really close with anyone at McKinley. I know I could call an adult like Mr Schue, or one of those hotlines, but they don't really care, they're just doing their job."

"What about Kurt? He'd care."

"I know he would. He would care, and he would hold me, and he would help me get through whatever this is, but he's going to New York next year, and I'm going to be left behind, and he won't always be there when I need him."

"So you called me." Sebastian reclined next to Blaine. "Why did you come here?"

"I just needed out of the house. Cooper is visiting this week, and his presence just commands attention. He doesn't even try, everyone just automatically fauns over him. He showed up at school, and it really hurt to see him get all the attention that I had to work so hard for. I was finally starting to get appreciated for myself, and then he comes in and just sweeps everybody off their feet. Even at home, Cooper's always been the favourite son. And why wouldn't he be? Perfect grades, captain of the polo team, a successful career, and straight."

Sebastian had a feeling that not many people had ever just listened to Blaine, and he highly doubted that many people had ever seen this side of Blaine. He wasn't about to interrupt.

"And then Kurt's graduating this year, and I'm worried that he's going to find someone better, and I'll be forgotten. But him talking about his dreams made me think about my future, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. And then I realized that it doesn't matter what I do with my life because I'm just going to die anyways. It could be next week, could be in fifty years, but in the end everyone dies, and all the love and pain that I've felt through out my life won't have meant a thing."

"That was seriously depressing."

"Hmmm," Blaine hummed in agreement. "One of the side effects of my new anti-depression medication is thoughts of depression. Ironic, isn't it?"

They lay in silence for a few minutes, watching the stars.

"I just don't understand. Why are we here? What is our purpose? Look at all the stars out there. There is so much we don't know, so much we don't understand, and yet, we still try. NASA spends billions exploring the deepest corners of space. Scientists spend hours trying to comprehend quarks and quantum mechanics. And in five billion years, the sun is going to explode, and none of it will matter anymore. Because we'll all be gone."

"'The ultimate answer to life, the universe, and everything is 42.'"

Blaine groaned. "I'm trying to have a serious conversation here, Smythe. And you start quoting Douglas Adams."

"I'm sorry, Blaine. I don't know what you want me to say. I don't know why we're here, or what our purpose is. Why can't you just accept life, and enjoy what you have before you die?" Sebastian said angrily.

"There's nothing to enjoy," Blaine responded quietly.

Sebastian didn't know how to reply, so he stayed silent. They watched the stars a bit more.

It would be so easy for Sebastian to lean over and kiss Blaine, and take everything that he's wanted, and in this vulnerable state, Blaine would let him. But it wouldn't just be sex, there would be feelings and emotions, and Sebastian's not sure he can deal with that.

"Does anyone else know?"

Blaine turned to him. "Know what?"

"That you're on medication, and you like to think about jumping in front of trains."

Blaine sighed. "No, and I would appreciate it if you kept your mouth shut."

"Only if I get to keep my legs open," Sebastian retorted.

"Oh my God, you're impossible," Blaine said with a slight laugh.

"What did you mean earlier? You said there's nothing to enjoy. I thought you were happy at McKinley with Kurt."

"I am. I don't regret transferring. I love Kurt so much, and I would do anything to be with him. But like I said, he's going off to college next year, and I'm going to be stuck in Lima. Most of the New Directions are graduating, and I'm not very close with any that will be left. I feel a bit like an outsider. I miss the sense of belonging that I had with the Warblers. We were a team. We couldn't work with out everybody. But then you came along, and you took the Warblers from me, and almost ruined what I have with Kurt. And don't even get me started on my family."

"The Warblers still care about, Blaine. They feel awful about what we did, even though they didn't know that there was rock salt in the slushy. I'm sure that if you let them, they would be more than happy to welcome you back." Sebastian sighed. "You should talk to someone, Blaine."

"What have we been doing this whole time? Dancing?"

"I meant maybe you should get professional help, or talk to Kurt, or talk to someone who can actually help you."

"You have helped, Sebastian. You answered the phone, and you drove all the way here to comfort someone you don't even know. It means a lot to me, Sebastian. It really does."

Light was starting to appear on the eastern horizon. The stars slowly vanished as the sun rose.

Sebastian yawned. "Oh God. We have school in two hours, and I only got three hours of sleep."

"I'm sorry," Blaine said, guilt sweeping over his features.

"Don't be. Come on, up you get, we need to get ready for school, and I need about four cups of coffee if I want to make it through first period." He hauled Blaine to his feet, and they walked towards his car.

Sebastian looked around. "I don't see a vehicle. How did you get here?"

"I walked. Can we quickly stop by my house so I can grab my books, and then we can buy all the caffeine the Lima Bean has to offer?"

"Fine, but you are paying for my first cup of coffee."

"Fine. I still hate your guts, by the way."

"I'm still going to try and get in your pants."

"Deal."

Somehow, Blaine had made it through the day with out falling asleep. He was exhausted, and Kurt kept shooting him worried stares.

Finally, the day was over, and Blaine was at his locker to put away his books. A small package fell out when he opened the metal door. He quickly stowed his books and bent down to pick it up. It was a package of glow-in-the-dark stars that children often stuck to their ceilings. There was a small note attached.

_Last night was fun. We should do it again sometime. :)_

_I'm joking. Last night was horribly depressing, and now I want to jump off the roof._

_Anyways, I got you a little gift. Now you don't have to go to the middle of fucking nowhere to star gaze._

_Although, if you let me, I can make you come so hard you see stars ;)_

_-Sebastian_

Blaine laughed and smiled down at the package. It meant a lot to him that Sebastian cared, and he appreciated the effort that the other boy had gone too. Blaine was much too tired to think about how Sebastian got into his locker.

"Honey, is everything all right?"

Blaine stared into the worried expression of Kurt. He smiled, and looked down at the stars again.

"Everything is fine, at least it's going to be. Are you busy right now? There's something I need to tell you."

**AN: Please review, if only just to answer "who is more awesome, David Tennant or Neil Patrick Harris"?**


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